The void

I carry your breath on my neck
Through the lonely nights
The scent of your hair on my pillow
Sustains my senses when
My arms ache with the void
You fill
Each night when you’re with me
Curled tight into my body
My arms wrap around you
My fingers find yours
My lips on your neck
and back
and shoulders
Because your skin is the sweetest thing next to
Your lips
My god your lips were made for me
Pliant and responsive and soft
Unbelievably soft and I miss
Kissing you
Holding you
Touching you
The warmth from your body mixes with mine and
Beneath the sheets it’s an oven
But it’s cold outside
And it’s warm in here when you’re with me.
But you’re not here with me.
You’re far away.
And I’m cold without you.
My feet search for yours in the middle of the night and they search and they search and they search and all they find are more covers And the place you’re supposed to be
My arms hug the pillows tight because it’s the closest I have to hold on to you and smell the sweet perfume you leave there each time you leave my bed
But my bed is where you belong.
My arms ache with a space the size of you between them
My feet are cold and lonely without yours entwined around them
My heart aches when you’re gone and my sleep is unsound because you’re not here with me
And I know the distance is temporary temporary temporary
That word is the bane of my existence and I want to hear it
No more
I don’t want you gone from my bed temporarily anymore
I want you here permanently and forever so my heart and my arms and my nose and my toes and my soul aren’t lonely and hurting and aching anymore
Because I love to be the last breath on your lips the last smile you see before the deepest, sweetest sleep you’ve ever had in your life takes you under
Under in a sea of warmth and limbs and sheets
Under the stars to dream the sweetest of dreams
To be the last of your whispers and the last sight before slumber is such a joy to me
To feel you finally release the burdens of the world and melt into my arms, sinking back weightless into my chest is my blessing
To feel your breathing become slow and regular as you drift away
Calms my ravaged soul day after day and night after night
So though you are not here in form and body you are here with me in spirit and heart and the sweet scent on my pillow
And that shall sustain me until you are in my arms again
Until the day comes when you will always be in my arms
Until the ache is gone, replaced by the love and warmth and your skin pressed to mine night after night

© A Gentleman’s Musings 2014